Writers are a strange bunch, with many cliches attached. We only write in dark attics with a quill pen at night. (Not true.) We are secretive and spy on people. (Only 50% of the time.) We always hate our writing and think we are the worst authors in history. (Okay, so maybe this is true.)
But there are also many ways we are supposed to dress. In this post, I'm combining fashion and writing to give you outfits writers "supposedly" wear. *Warning: humor and sarcasm ahead*
The "I never leave my pajamas" writer
This is one of the classics. Writers are thought to sit around in their pajamas, staring at their screens, and occasionally typing a few words. That's not (always) true.
To achieve this look, grab your comfiest pajamas. Braid your hair, then completely mess it up to look like you just got out of bed. This, of course, will be the most time consuming step. Bunny slippers and a hoodie are optional accessories. Grab a cup of tea/coffee/hot chocolate and sit with a slightly sleepy expression at your computer to finish the look.
The "incognito" writer
You are the writer that likes to people watch. And by people watch, I mean stand on street corners and study people from behind your shades. In a totally not creepy way.
Wear your normal clothes and put a trench coat, fedora, and sunglasses on top. You're trying to look like a cheap movie spy. Stand on street corners and shadowy places and watch everyone around it. All in the name of writing, of course.
The "dark and serious" writer
This is the writer who sulks around in black, writing thousand page novels with deep themes about humanity. Or maybe you just look this way because you like black. Who can say? (Insert evil laughter here.)
Find several pieces of concealing black clothing. Let your hair fly around your head like you can't be bothered with it, which you can't. You're too busy changing humanity. Give anyone who dares disturb you a baleful look and only sit in the darkest of corners.
The "coffee shop" writer
You're the writer with her cute little laptop typing away in a coffee shop corner, with a cup of joe going cold beside you. Should anyone dare disturb you, you give them a mumbled excuse about writing a novel and hope they don't bother you more.
You'll want to look a bit preppy to pull this one off. An argyle sweater, button-up shirt, or polo work well, with khaki or jeans. Keep your hair back out of your eyes (and your food). Lean forward over your laptop, phone, coffee, with a snack at hand, and act devoted to what you're doing. Even if it's scrolling Facebook.
The "epic nerd" writer
You love movies, books, and video games, and aren't afraid to show it. A room with memorabilia and collectibles is excellent.
For this outfit, you need to wear your nerdiest things. That video game tee shirt? Perfect? A fez and stripped scarf? Great. Full cosplay of your favorite character? Go for it. You can't forget your thick black glasses. And don't be afraid to talk over the top about your nerdom to everyone you meet.
The "attic turret" writer
You need an attic or a turret (preferably both) to pull this one off properly. A thunderstorm is also an excellent accessory. Anyone who dares knock on your door is greeted with your crazy face. Followed by them quickly leaving.
The outfit that works best is something from the 18oo's. If you don't have that, you're oldest clothes will have to do. Covering it with ink is a good touch. Take out your quill pen and wait to write at night, lit only with a single candle.
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Let's talk. Which of these writers is totally you? What cliches about writers irk you? Tell me in the comments.