Writer's Guide to Large Families

In a similar vein to my guide to oldest siblings, I thought I'd write one specifically dealing with large families. Again, I think I'm good to write about this since I'm the oldest of six myself. It's sad to me that there aren't a lot of large families represented in fiction these days. I know it's not super normal to have a lot of kids, but it's also not as rare as people think, so that's why I think it's important to do it right.

What You Need to Know

First off, I think most people assume that having six kids looks like any of those big family movies, with the house being a mess and in constant chaos. In my experience, it's only like that a small percentage of the time. To an outsider, things might look chaotic, but to us, it's just the way things are.

Movies like Cheaper by the Dozen and Yours, Mine, and Ours are great movies and super funny, but not always accurate. So far my family has never left anyone behind by accident. There are not toys all over the place (any more than normal, that is). We do, however, have bunk beds with multiple kids to a room and set times for when people take showers.

We also do tend to divide into groups. Girls and boys, older siblings and younger ones, and so on. As you grow up, those groupings change and you have to learn to accept that your younger siblings are actually able to play Clue with you, even if you may not want to at first.

It's also pretty loud in a large household, but that's to be expected. You should see the dinner table when we have three conversations going at once. My family also likes to listen to our favorite music at top volume and sing along. (Car rides are interesting.) I've gotten used to the noise, but I know it can be intimidating to outsiders.

Large families are also kind of looked down on by other people, which is sad. They like to make rude comments at the grocery store or say how we have our hands full. And you should have heard the incredulity of the guy when we ordered eight hot fudge sundays at McDonalds.

My siblings and I are very close too. We fight sometimes, but don't you dare try anything toward one of us because the rest of us are coming with the baseball bats. It's great now that we're older, because we can watch a lot of movies or play games together. We like to say that if we all got leather jackets, we could become a small gang. We can be intense and highly competitive and I love it.

I also have to say how awesome my parents are, and so are the parents of any large family. They made the choice to have this many kids and I think God gives them extra grace. My mom has even homeschooled all of us. My dad takes the time to listen to us, take us places that interest us, and let us argue our points with him. They're both amazing.

Stereotypes

1. Siblings always fight. All siblings fight. It doesn't matter if there are two of you or twelve. But people seem to think that it's non-stop, when it's not.

2. Siblings don't care about each other. I don't know about other people, but from what I've seen, big families are extra close. I know I'd beat up anyone for my siblings and they'd do the same for me. When we're a united front, look out. We may fight, but we do love each other.

3. Girls wear skirts. I think this one came from the Duggars. Not all big families are like that. Sure, in my house we wear skirts, but in my friends, they don't. It's a personal decision like anything else.

4. Both parents work. In all the large families I know, the moms are all stay-at-home moms whose job is taking care of their family. I know not everyone can do that, but that's what I've seen.

5. All siblings are either alike or super different. We're all people too. Each of us is unique in our own ways, but also like our siblings in other ways. Some kids you can tell are all related, others don't look at all alike.

Truths

1. We eat a lot of food. I think large families are the reason Aldi and Costco were invented.

2. Car rides can be crazy. You try being stuck with eight people in one car for more than five minutes and see what happens to your sanity.

3. The bathroom will always be full when you really have to go. It's a universal truth.

4. You share a lot. I only had my own bedroom for the first four years of my life and have shared ever since. I've also gotten really good at dividing something into six/eight portions.

5. We're just like other families, only a little bit bigger. There's nothing weird or stare-worthy about that.

For Writing

When writing, have you ever considered adding more large families? Giving your character more than one or two siblings? It's not really that hard. Here's a few questions to get you started.

1. How many siblings do they have?

2. How close in age are they?

3. Do they have a lot of extended family (cousins especially)?

4. What are their individual interests?

5. What things can they agree on? What do they always argue about?

6. What sort of sleeping arrangements do they have?

7. Were they homeschooled or go to regular school?

8. Which of their siblings are they closest to?

9. Which siblings look like each other?

10? How big of a car do they drive?

How many siblings do you have? Would you like to see more large families in literature? Tell me in the comments.

Suggested Posts:

A Writer's Guide to Oldest Siblings

A Writer's Guide to Homeschoolers